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Heaven's Journal

A Letter to Grandma Knapp

I first met Grandma Knapp in 2010.

This was before Alex and I were even dating and still strictly in the “friend zone” (with a secret crush on each other, of course).

I worked for Alex’s mom and was headed over to the house to drop something off. I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone new that day so I wore a super casual outfit… little did I know I made a huge mistake and wouldn’t realize it until after meeting Grandma Knapp. 

I remember being irritated with Alex because he didn’t even acknowledge me while I was over and I was trying not to cry. As Alex’s mom walked me out of the house we ran into Grandma Knapp and we were introduced to each other. Of course when Sonia said my name, “Heaven” she immediately starting preaching Jesus to me.

My name seems to prompt these kind of discussions but with Grandma Knapp this is just who she was.

A woman who loved Jesus. Talked about Jesus. Preached Jesus. 

Our conversation went on…. and then my mistake was addressed.

I was wearing jeans with holes in them. 

Let me make something clear… holey jeans are not holy. They are just jeans with holes… and in Grandma Knapp’s eyes this is a serious crime. I left the house not only mad at Alex but also regretting that I wore those jeans LOL!

After meeting Grandma Knapp in 2010 I didn’t see her again until about a year ago in 2017 when she moved to AZ. I was now married to Alex for 6 years and 3 babies later; life had changed so much from the time I had first met her. Her Alzheimer’s had gotten much worse and the AZ family was going to start taking care of her.

I’ve learned to appreciate her dislike for jeans with holes over the last year.  I mean…. I have legitimately changed jeans before going to visit her; and if I didn’t have time to change, I knew I could use one of my children to my advantage as a distraction- and I’m 100% okay with that.

She loved the babies.

She was smitten over Chase who was only a few months old when she met him. The girls were her delight and seemed to brighten her day each time we would visit.

A rare relationship to still have a GREAT GREAT Grandma aliveand I knew our time with her would be a gift. 

As a child and teenager I prayed lots of days and nights about the family I would marry into. At the time I believe it was rooted out of a simple fear that my in laws “wouldn’t like me”.

I don’t think I fully knew what I was praying for exactly. I just knew God laid this unexplained desire in my heart to love my in laws and for them to love me.

A lot of my prayers were “Lord, please let me get along with my husbands family and please let them like me”.

I can see now that God had laid that prayer on my heart. He heard me, He answered me. He brought my prayer to fruition even beyond my in laws and through my “extended” in law family.

I have been blessed with the family that I have married into.

After years and years of prayers sometimes we come to the end of the road and have these “ah-ha” moments with God when we realize that He has answered a prayer, but answered it beyond what we ever could have imagined.

I can now see a glimpse of the bigger picture.

This is something God has shown me through the last year during our special time with Grandma Knapp.

So… Grandma Knapp:

Thank you for love you gave my babies this last year. Thank you for always wanting to hold my Chaser even though your hands were weak. Thank you for putting my girls hair up in a pony tail when it was in their face. Thank you for always worrying if my kids were warm enough. Thank you for letting my girls feed you cookies. Thank you for being such a special person in Grandma Bev’s life because she has blessed me in the same ways (I will always remember that stories she shared with me about you and know that’s part of where her giving heart came from), thank you for the love you gave your granddaughters who in turn showed their selfless love for your during your final weeks. It was a beautiful thing to witness.

But most of all, thank you for the legacy you left behind.

The legacy of a beautiful woman who loved Jesus and loved her family.

Your legacy is part of God’s answered prayer in my life.

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1 Comment

  • Reply Beverly

    Heaven I loved what you wrote. It made me smile and your so correct she would light up when the kids came.
    You, alex and the kids always gave her a hug and kiss when you came and when you left. I love the picture of chaser
    Kissing her when alex would hold him up and he would lean over and kiss her. Thanks so much for taking the time
    To come and spend time with us. Love ❤️ you

    March 12, 2018 at 8:31 am
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